I feel neglected by one person. But maybe, just maybe, God allowed it to happen for me to see that He’s there, always been and always will be.
You only know what’s enough unless you know what’s more than enough.
Bakit kahit alam kong more than enough na di ko pa rin magawang tumigil. Nakakapagod na. Sobrang nakakapagod na.
The commoner’s feet :-)
Finally. A handy tumblr in my pocket. :-)
"You see them all over these estates. Women with a bunch of screaming kids and no ring on their fingers. Amazing isnt it? You need a license to drive a car. You need a license to own a dog. But anyone can bring a child into the world. "
speechless.
"power is when you have every justification to kill a man, and you don’t. "
December 12, 2012
I sent Panda a message saying that i’ll be leaving for the province tomorrow. Sabi ko sayang kasi hindi kami nagmeet. (i just wanted to know his reaction about it. Other than that its completely unnecessary letting him know.) Nagulat ako kasi ang bilis magreply which is something normally out of his system. Sa mga replies niya pa lang natutuwa na ako kasi nararamdaman ko na overflowing yung willingness niya na makipagkita sa akin up to the point that it sounds he is willing to do the impossible just to see me (i dont know if its really like that or its just me flattering myself with false hopes). First time din nangyari na daladalawa yung messages niya. Yung tipong hindi pa nga ako nakakareply sa isa, may isa na naman siyang message.
Kei:Pare, bukas na pala ako uuwi. Sayang di tayo nagkita. Mag iingat ako. Mag iingat ka rin lagi. :)
Panda:What time ka alis tom?
Kei: 5P.M. alis ng bus eh.
Panda: Puntahan kita. San ka ba?
Kei:Wala kang pasok bukas?
Panda:Meron pero mahaba break ko.
Kei: i see. what time ka pwede?
Panda:10:30 onwards…
…
(Rarely do i find people who’d offer to go to you first before asking where you are. i wasn’t really expecting we’d meet. its enough for me to know that he’s willing to do all that. if one person said willingness is not enough, we must do, this time i say willingness is more than enough, no need to do. still i kept myself open.)
December 13, 2012
Morning came and plans changed because my brother-in-law asked me to come with him to different schools to inquire about something so i said to Panda that its ok if we don’t meet but i’ll be going to a school near his. After his class nagtetext na siya kung asan na raw ako. reply naman ako na nasa ganitong school ako tapos lilipat pa kami sa ganitong school. Nung tapos na kami sa 3 schools…
Panda:oh, san ka pupunta nyan?
Kei: uuwi na. tapos na kami mag inquire sa mga schools.
Panda:kita tayo pare kahit saglit. san ka ngayon?
… (pupunta na raw siya)
He really went (hindi ko alam kung pano pero bigla na lang siya sumulpot sa likod ko eh nakaharap naman ako sa daan pero di ko siya nakitang pumasok). Tawag niya ako ng mahina, sabi nya “Pare”. siyempre lumingon ako at nagulat (something’s different with the eyes, he’s wearing a black shirt, didn’t notice the print though, school pants, didn’t notice the shoes either, and he has a black bag) at napatayo. He offered his hand to me for a shake or a low five, im not sure which one though. Nag improve na ngayon. Dati kasi wala siyang ganun. Inintroduce ko siya sa brother-in-law ko. Usap na kami about stuffs. Sabi nya 6A.M. na raw siya natulog then pumasok siya ng 8 and yet he found time to see me na kung tutuusin yung oras na isspend niya with me eh pwede niya na itulog. Nabanggit niya na mag Christmas na raw. He left me thinking there. Ano na naman kaya iniisip ng taong to at nasabi niya na magpapasko na. Usap lang kami and i saw his smile again. The smiling eyes that kill. haaaaaa. Aside from those eyes, what i loved about him is hindi talaga siya naiilang sa akin pagdating sa mga bagay na normally off pag sinabi ng guy sa girl. Last time it was his pinking teeth, this time its about his pimples. At yung pagkakasabi niya sa akin na pinipimples siya eh with matching emphasis pa ng part ng mukha nya na may pimples, yung iniistretch ba at hinihimas nya pa. He also asked for my opinion about his contact lenses and that i find comfortable. Sabi niya “pare, halata ba?”At first i thought he was referring to his pimples but i decided that he may be referring to his eyebags, so sabi ko hindi naman masyado, hahaha. Pero nilinaw niya naman na yung contacts niya raw, brown. haha, natatawa talaga ako pero hindi ako nahiya na baka naoffend ko siya sa eyebags thing. What’s even better with that question is we got to stare at each other’s eyes for several seconds. He was staring at mine and he leaned a bit habang nakatingin ako sa eyebags niya trying to figure out kung alin ang worse, yung dati o yung ngayon. How stupid, haha. Of course there were silent moments too but its still comfortable. Nung patapos na kami mag usap kasi yung girlfriend niya raw hinahanap na siya, he asked kung what time kami aalis mamaya like he was implyingi’ll try to meet you again later. Before he left he offered his hand again for a low five or a handshake, im still not sure which one though and since my hands were sweaty i gave him a soft punch on the palm in return.
I am overwhelmed by his willingness to spend time and effort to see me. After he left my brother-in-law referred to him as my boyfriend. I denied of course cause he’s not. But then he said, “hindi ka ba nililigawan nun?” Sabi ko, “hindi, barkada lang kami nun.” He added “duda ko gusto kang ligawan nun eh.”Flattered naman ako kasi my brother-in-law is a kind of man who, in a way, can read people by their actions, behaviors and even through the eyes so for him to say such it means he can see something in Panda that suggested the idea. But above all those things i deeply appreciate Panda’s effort and respect that i am overly contented being his friend and not wanting more than that. Hope to see him again soon. :)
Nagtext pa siya kinagabihan at nagsorry pa dahil saglit lang daw kami nagkita. Sana raw mas mahaba pa yung time namin next time para makapagkwentuhan kami ng mas matagal. :)
you have just entered my thoughts. wish you can make the most of it. but please always remember that what is written is crafted by my mind depending on how i look through and feel about things. so i only require one special thing that i hope you possess. R.E.S.P.E.C.T. have it? bring it with you all throughout your stay here. :)
:D
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